I don’t care

There’s a lot of talk about optimism lately, what with Michael J. Fox’s book out and a new administration in office all full of hope, good feelings, euphoria and everything else that wells up from the heart positively. And that’s all good, I guess. I mean, really, if we didn’t have the optimism of a Labrador retriever going on in some corners, we’d all shut ourselves in closets and wish for the world to end, I suppose.

But I feel uncomfortable around optimists for some reason. To me with all their Pollyanna exuberance there’s a hint of falsity which sends red flags up and down my spine. Their exclamations of joy and hope for the future invariably make me open my mouth to toss darts of pessimism their way. Logistics is what I call it. But what if? And how? And what do we do if…? And have you thought of …? Yup, logistics. The prickly air of reason (or what I perceive as reason) comes out of my mouth and the optimist I’m bearing down on moves quickly away in search of another optimist who will listen to the gushing flow of sanguinity and receive it with open arms.

On the other hand, I don’t care for true pessimism either. By that I mean the diehard pessimist who, no matter what is before them, will find some excuse to quell whatever hope there may be. You know the ones.

“The sun is out, the day is bright, glory, glory Hallelujah,” shouts the optimist.

“It’s hot, the light is burning my eyes, hell, hell to everyone who comes my way,” retorts the pessimist.

I move away from a pessimist nearly as quickly as I do from an optimist.

Here’s what I like. Apathy. That’s right, apathy. When I was in high school and later college, teachers, professors, the media, you name it, told us apathy was bad.

“Don’t be apathetic, you fools, fight for something, believe in something,” they’d scream, brushing the chalk dust off their hands.

And when we did fight for something, they’d holler, “No, not that! Don’t fight for that!”

So, I slowly began to learn how beautiful apathy is. “I don’t care,” became one of my favorite sayings, comforting me in many stressful situations. I don’t care. Relieving me of the horrendous loads of responsibility we humans throw at each other day after day.

Apathy is a safeguard against the optimists and pessimists of the world. I relish it. I cling to it. It’s my bodyguard, my soul guard. The national anthem should have it in there somewhere. It should be taught far and wide.

I don’t care.